Welcome to the forums!
Looks like you've covered your bases pretty well in my limited experience.
Be aware that your quantary lenses will also work on the D90 so whether you want to keep them or not is up to you but you have all their ranges covered with your list and I'm pretty sure the lenses you plan to buy are better than the quantarys.
I have the sb800 and am happy with it but don't use it enough to justify what I paid for it.
Many use the sb600 and are very pleased with it.
I use the Gary Fong diffuser and it works very well but a lot of people just make one out of an old milk jug or something.
You've got plenty of memory there unless you're shooting constantly for long periods.
On a 2gig card, I get 165 raw files so you'll be getting over 300 on each of those cards.
Happy shooting and stick around and show us your stuff.