Serious Question

[ArmySSG]

This post is not meant to offend anyone, but rather help me with views from other people. Hopefully, someone out there could give me insight as to what they would do, or what they have done. Here is the situation ---

Recently, I had the chance to work with a lovely lady for a photoshoot. Shoulder length blonde hair, incredible eyes, captivating smile, great personality, a true beauty in every way that I could hope for. We had a great time on the shoot, alot of laughs, and got some great images (which she is happy to give to her fiance). Beautiful headshots as well as the full length of her body.
The only thing is that this woman is restricted in a wheelchair. The fact that she was in it did not bother me at all, as I had approached her about doing a shoot. My question is, would it have been rude or uncaring to ask her if she wants images with the wheelchair or not in the images? Or rather, was it rude of me not to ask, and just work both styles into the shoot to give har a full range of images? (I already did the second option)
As I stated, I approached her about the shoot, and the fact she was in it did not and does not matter to me. I saw her beauty, and I was thankful for the chance to work with her. I just don't want to potentially flub up a chance should another chance arise with someone else. By the way, due to time constraints with the shoot, it was not done in a studio, but rather outside. Neither of us allowed the whellchair to be an excuse or a reason not to go to a great area for the shoots.
I'm sorry, but at this time I cannot post any photos from this shoot. In discussion with her, she allowed me to use an image in my book, but I am restricted from posting the images on line, in any format. Needless to say, I will honor that request. Besides, it's not to get a critique on the image, but to help me with "situational awareness".
I look forward to your responses, opinions, and honesty.

Respectfully,
Ken

[Liz]

Ken,

Let me begin by saying - you're handling this very professionally - and with great kindness. You'll do well no matter what you decide.

As a nurse I work mostly with people with AIDS, but I have worked with a variety of patients. My experience has been that people who are handicapped and in a wheelchair are normally confident and used to discussing their situation. From what you say, I think you should just be yourself - and ask her upfront. She will most likely handle it better than you. ;)

Others will have more thoughts, advice and comments.

It's good you came here to ask - that' what we're here for.

Liz

[ArmySSG]

Liz,

Thanks for the comment. I look forward to other comments as well.
When I became a member of this Forum, I was impressed by the wealth of knowledge from the photographers whose work I viewed, and the comments left. I was hoping through thier experiences to grow and to learn about photography, and about being a photographer. Looks like I made a good choice.
Thanks again.

Ken

[Liz]

You may not get a lot of responses on a weekend. It varies, but sometimes weekends are much slower. So - just keep this post alive. If by Monday you don't get a lot of activity - make sure you remind people that you're still around looking for help. I do that sometimes. ;)

Liz

Liz,

Thanks for the comment. I look forward to other comments as well.
When I became a member of this Forum, I was impressed by the wealth of knowledge from the photographers whose work I viewed, and the comments left. I was hoping through thier experiences to grow and to learn about photography, and about being a photographer. Looks like I made a good choice.
Thanks again.

Ken

[Peter_AUS]

Personally I think she may still have some issue with being in a wheelchair and I would approach her about what she feels comfortable with, image wise.

Liz has made some very good points and she speaks, not only as a Nurse, but as a woman and from other influences in her life which give her a great wealth of knowledge as well.

I just happen to be a nurse (male one at that) as well and I think from that perspective mostly with this question. I also have a disability, although not wheel chair bound as of yet, and hope that never happens to me.

I would certainly have asked her, what images she was looking for and what aspects of her life she wanted to include in those images. The degree of muscle wasteage that there is with wheel chair bound individuals can vary greatly from person to person, age to age, degree of activity that they engage in, to a great deal, and that to me is the aspect that needs to be adressed mostly with sensativity.

Most long term people who are in wheel chairs do have a more relaxed nature about themselves in these situations and not knowing how long the person has been wheel chair bound makes it hard to address.

I think, look at the reason that you wanted to capture images of this lady and what it is/was about her that attracted you to approach this and take/present images from that aspect. Then mention that you have other images that you took, but are hesitant to display to her as you are unsure of how comfortable she might be viewing them. Maybe leave them with her in a closed book etc and let her view them privately, keeping at a distance that isn't intrusive but also not too far away where you are unable to offer support if necessary. Everyone is different and I think that is what makes this a hard one to gague.

Hope that helps.

[walterick]

Hello, Mr. Long

I had an experience while working in a nursing care home as a massage therapist a few years ago that may help you out. I was working with the elderly, all of whom were delightful people in spite of their failing bodies. I used to do the rounds in the care hme asking if any of the residents wanted a massage. On more than one ocassion, I had a resident tell me, "It's the humanity that matters." It was the fact that I was there talking to them and showing an interest - as much as the body work itself - that made a difference to them. I think this has relevance to your situation becasue I think it was your caring and compassion that made a mark as much as whether you asked your question or not.

I'd say this: don't not ask about the wheel chair becasue you're scared of it. It's like the pink elephant in the room until someone talks about it. Don't be afraid to touch, ask, or talk about it, if you feel called to do so I'm sure she'd appreciate your directness. And she lives with the thing, I'd think she would appreciate other people talkig about it as if it were just an ordinary thing and not making a big deal about it.

And by the way, people can tell when you're seeing them as beautiful

Rick

[Aaron]

Ken, I can only respond from personal experience. My Brother-In-Law was in a wheel chair, when we were having our wedding picures taken he was my best man, and the photo's included the chair. It was a part of his reality, neither emphasized or de-emphasized. We had some photo's of him that were head shots and did not include his conveyance, some that just would show the back rest, and we had others that were "whole body" shots. To him it did not matter, as long as the photo's were made of "him" and were good pictures. They needed to include the reality around him. He had been wheel chair confined for a long term so I suppose he as accustomed to it as was possible.

Personally I think you handled the situation in a model way, allowing a choice of the photo's to the lady was a thoughtful way to handle it. Sensitivity to a person shows through and that is the most important thing.

[Chunk]

I think that it would have been OK to ask her how she felt about it. People who live in chairs are used to dealing with others who are uncomfortable about the subject and I think would rather have others knowledgable about and comfortable about them. As long as it's an obvious but unspeakable subject between you, it'll interfere with the natural back and forth that leads to a good rapport, kinda like the elephant in the room that nobody talks about from some old cliche.

It's been my experience that people in chairs would probably take your questions as a show of sensitivity and interest rather than rudeness and you might be treated to a bit of education once you have broached the subject. I've learned a lot of interesting things while talking with people with various disabilities as the usually seem open to someone who doesn't treat their problem as a taboo subject.

Some people, I'm sure, may not want to talk about it but they will have a ready response to clue you in and you should have the answer that you need about whether they want the chair in the photos.

[ArmySSG]

Thank you to everyone who has given me a response to my question. Different views and personal experiences are enlightening, and help me learn. Thanks again, and I hope to be here if someone could use knowledge from one of my experiences in life.

Ken