Greg McCary in serious accident

[drg]

I just had a funny thought. When Greg gets to his regular hosp room and then gets hold of a camera, he will prob take all sorts of hospital shots... LOL..a furnace room, laundry, anywhere in the dark bowels of a big hospital no one else would want to tread, (hopefully he can find a place somewhere with grafitti splattered on it) ...LOL.. Just think of his
"capture a stranger" shots....

He may even take some shots that we 'don't' want to see.

Anything photos now would be great. He'll get there.

Take care and continuing best wishes!!

[KyRain]

yeah, he may take some "flapping in the wind gown shots" of some innocent patient's
bottom while he's strolling down the hall. LOL. He wouldn't....but it's still funny. There should be a law somewhere that patient's gowns are big enough to cover the entire body. Instead of "capture a stranger" it would be "capture a bottom"....

I talked to Greg's nurse earlier and she told me no changes today either. His temp is down. They had decreased his vent settings but moved it back up to let his lungs
rest again. His vent settings will be up and down for awhile. Greg's dr, (the main surgeon in charge of Greg) told me today that Greg will recover, but it will take a long while. He said he could not give me an approximate time frame but only that it will be long term instead of short term. In my mind, I'm kind of taking things in steps. I want Greg to get off the vent, become conscious, get to a regular room, get through rehab, get back to being Greg.

I echo drg's words...."He'll get there"....yes!

[Liz]

In my mind, I'm kind of taking things in steps. I want Greg to get off the vent, become conscious, get to a regular room, get through rehab, get back to being Greg.

Nora,

Smart thinking! This is the only way to accompany Greg on this challenging journey right now. It will keep you peaceful with less stress, and will prevent any disappointments from unrealistic expectations. You're a remarkable and courageous woman, Nora. I admire you! God bless you - you deserve the best as does Greg! You and Greg and Anna remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Liz

[shootme]

My sentiments too Liz, one day at a time. Nora you are a special person and one who I have come to admire for your strength, caring and thoughtfulness in sharing with us this unfortunate event, thank you for that. My esteem for the many members here has also grown as I read the comments posted every day by people who make a difference and those I know who would like to post but maybe can't for their own personal reasons. Shootme

[KyRain]

Hello again, just spoke w Greg's nurse and she told me he is "stable as a rock". I really like her choice of words and wanted to share that. He is still on the vent but breathing on his own with the vent as backup. Today is a good day, today is a "blue sky day" one of
my fav expressions....:thumbsup:

[Liz]

He is still on the vent but breathing on his own with the vent as backup.

That is a HUGE step.....

Drum Roll :7:

Enjoy the Blue Skies and have a wonderful day! :smile5:

Liz

[jbaldocchi]

May you have a full and speedy recovery. This could be an opportunity to get some cool hospital shots. ;-)

[draymorton]

Stable as a rock is good! Breathing on his own - fantastic!!

How's Anna doing?

How are you doing?

[Old Timer]

I like that expression to Nora. That is the why Greg has been here at PR since he came into the family. He was always one we could count on. We'll keep the good vibes going his way and hopefully that vent will be a thing of the past very soon.

[I_Fly]

"Stable as a rock"

"breathing on his own"

Great, great news!

I don't post often Nora but want to express my admiration and appreciation for your strength and your willingness to keep us informed of Greg's accident and continued improvement since!

I'll continue to keep Greg, and you, in my prayers!!

And I'm looking forward to his hospital shots. Capture a bottom...hehe.

[another view]

Very encouraging news, and thanks for keeping us updated!

[Shebang]

Checking in on you...


Glad to hear more good news! You all are in my prayers.

[KyRain]

Just a note to let you all know Greg is still good, both shifts today reported "no changes" to me. He's still breathing on his own over the vent but has episodes of apnea that have to be resolved before the dr considers taking him off the vent. This is more than likely due to the heavy sedation Greg is under and that too is being slowly weaned.

Have a good night everyone. Nora

[Dylan8i]

glad to hear Greg is still "solid as a rock".

question though, has he been aware of anything since the accident? or when he wakes up will not know how much time has passed etc?

[Shebang]

Still checking...

Still praying...

Still thanking the Lord for the progress -- slow progress -- but progress nonetheless...

Don't let the slow pace discourage you. All things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. Romans 6:28 -- or is it 8:28... can't remember.

[Frog]

glad to hear Greg is still "solid as a rock".

question though, has he been aware of anything since the accident? or when he wakes up will not know how much time has passed etc?

Me too!
Also, can he or has he talked?
Thanks for the updates, Nora!

[KyRain]

Dylani and Frog, Greg was conscious even immediately after the fall. In fact he called me on his cell phone and some others too (remarkable). And before he was put on the ventilator and heavy sedation he was conscious but he could only barely talk as he was in so much pain and his main complaint to me was he couldn't breathe. It hurt very much for him to breathe. Seems like it was 3 or 4 days later he was put on the ventilator after the drs had a good idea of what all was going on w Greg (At times I am a poor historian bc I have a tendency to look at the BIG picture) so I don't remember the exact day. Plus, I can't visit often so I rely heavily on the nurses and drs to keep me up to date on a day to day (shift by shift) basis. But I have been told that when Greg is weaned off the heavy sedation he will become conscious and able to respond. His being "unconscious" is medically induced, it is not like Greg is in a coma and can't come back. Does that help??

Greg is being transferred today to another hospital in Atlanta that deals with long term acute patients. Greg's big step next is to be weaned off the vent and this facility will speed that process(of course the facility was chosen by the insurance company so he won't be going anywhere near our home but instead stays in Atlanta, very frustating) Greg
has been in the Surgical ICU at Atlanta medical and they have done all that they surgically can for Greg. The new facility will expedite his pulmonary process (getting his lungs strong enough and getting him off the vent) and his new plan of care will be by a pulmonologist. Greg is breathing on his own but he still needs the vent as back up and for pressure support.

Frog and Dylani8, I have the utmost faith that one day Greg can and will answer these questions himself.

I'll have more info later.

[Lori11]

Oh my goodness, I am speechless........Nora all my prayers for you and Greg both. I just finished reading every single post, I am in shock. Let me know where he is going if you can and if he will be at Shepherds Rehab in Atlanta. I will be in the area in April, but Atlanta is only 2 hours from me. Just let me know if you need anything and Im on the way.....thank you for your updates. I hope someone is taking care of you too. All the best and prayers for you and Anna also.

[KyRain]

Thank you everyone for your prayers. Please CONTINUE to pray. I was not expecting Greg's transfer to Kindred Hospital. It was sudden and based on his insurance company's decision. I have already checked the accreditations and they are a joint commissioned facilty.

Greg did not look as well as I expected him to. My greatest concerns are why is he still unconscious, get him off the heavy sedation and get him off the vent. But it all works hand in hand. I didn't have any say so while he was at Atlanta Medical, I was pretty much just told what was going on. Greg's parents are able to stay at the hospital while I can't and they signed consents, talked to drs, etc. My communication was mostly by phone; but at this new hospital they have scheduled appointments with Greg's doctors and caregivers to address his needs at his bedside once a week. I will be there.

Please pray for Greg's mother. She is having a hard time of course. She especially hates me and is especially hateful to me when I visit. Because I am still Greg's legal wife even though we were in the middle of a divorce, I had to sign Greg's admit papers. She had a very hard time with this and told me that Greg would not want Anna and me to be there.
Dealing with her hate and anger is very, very hard. Her daughter passed away in a hospital a few years back and her husband passed too, (not Greg's father). I lost my first husband in an accident in 1999 and also my father that I was very close to has passed.
It would seem to me that since we have both lost so much already that it is my wish and prayer that love and understanding take the place of hate and fear. Please help me with that prayer. I remind myself that her hate is her own and not mine and I don't claim it but it is all very, very hard. And yes, I did ask Greg when he still conscious if he wanted me to be there and he told me yes.

I also tell myself that Greg's mother's hate is nothing new. She hated his first wife. If Greg had 10 wives lined up at his bedside, she would hate all of us. Greg had two back surgeries a few years ago and he didn't even tell his mother about his second back surgery, he didn't want her there bc she is so angry and mad all the time. I didn't tell her that, bc it would only hurt her and she hurts enough. But the truth is Greg told her about his second surgery long after he was home from the hospital and over it. I don't want any mother in law bashing or anything like that, I sincerely am asking for prayers for her and Greg's father as well.

I also continue to work overtime and take care of all my family. I also have family and friends that advise me to walk away and not be involved due to our circumstances. I can't do that. If I walk away I feel that I am turning my back on Greg and I can't do that. But truthfully, I am receiving so much criticism from both sides I am starting to doubt myself.
Greg is the one who wanted the divorce. But Greg told me he wanted me at the hospital too. So I ask myself, would I want Greg to be at my hospital bed if the situation were reversed and I know that I would. My family would have a hard time with that though so I am trying to be more understanding towards Greg's family. It is hard enough dealing w
Greg being hurt and then have to add all these family issues on top of that.

One thing I know for sure, you all care about Greg. And I know he feels the same. Just look at all his posts! I remember when he reached over 5,000 posts, I thought to myself..."that man is insane"...LOL. (I didn't mean it) I so understand now. LOL.
Honestly, I am beginning to question my own sanity right now.

Thank you so much. Now you all may have a better understanding why your kind words of support and concern mean so much to me and have helped me. No matter how low I am feeling right now I refuse to give up on helping Greg to get the best care and the best decisions made. I can't do much but I can and will do that. And I will have to do so with Greg's parents hating my presence every step of the way. I think they feel threatened that they won't be able to make decisions for Greg. That is the last thing I want. I respect that they are his parents. Greg has to get better soon and make his own decisions. That is what I want.

I believe he will, he did not have a head injury. It is just a matter of time. I think this is a critical turn around time for Greg and the next few days and week will be very important.
I expect to see some improvement and progress made in this weaning process.

Lori, Greg did not go to Shepherds Rehab. He doesn't have any deficits, he is not paralyzed at all. That is much to be thankful for. I was told the decision to go to Kindred was based on pulmonary needs and right now that is my greatest concern too... why is Greg still on the vent? I want him weaned from the heavy sedation. In my mind I see it as a juggling act. You can't take sedation too quicky away or it will effect resp functions, he will be too agitated, will fight against the vent, pull his tubing, also pain needs have to be met, etc, etc, etc.....
This hospital is supposed to specialize in these type issues.

Please bear w me, I am a writer, I write too much, I am envious of people that can write short sentences, I won't write so much after this, the thing is... I am just struggling right now. I need a few days to be away, to be alone and to recharge myself....to become stronger.

God bless you all, Nora

[xystren]

Hi Nora,

I didn't know Greg that well, and I'm only been a member for just a bit more than a year, but one thing I do know is how much Greg is loved and missed here.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Greg, and his mother. I know what hate and anger that an in-law can project. It doesn't make things easy. But you've recognized so much; that it's her anger, her hate. She is the only one that can let it go. No one can do that for her, only she can. Your strength and your willingness to see through the hatred storm really says good things about you as a person. Don't let other others cloud what you know to be right path.

Nora, I know things are hard right now for you, so I'm sending an extra prayer, just for you.

Take care,

[Old Timer]

Nora, thanks so much for your wonderfully honest and frank discussion of the situation surrounding Greg and the families. You as well as Greg have become very special to us and we value and need your updates on his condition. I for one will continue to pray not only for Greg's full recovery but for you and Anna to weather all that you are experiencing during this stressful period.

[Liz]

Dear Nora,

Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. You are indeed a courageous woman. As a nurse, I want to tell you that people who have traumas like Greg's always have complications as they begin the healing process. It is part of the "normal" process in the first stages of their healing. This is due to the incredible trauma to Greg's body and the complications that Greg has encountered along the way as even the treatments have "side affects" especially when they are invasive (chest tubes). And the pain from the trauma and the discomfort of the treatments make it necessary for Greg to be heavily sedated. It can get very complicated and confusing. It is always a shock to see them and not see any improvement, although things have improved tremendously. Since you don't get the chance to visit Greg often, the shock is especially profound. Also, you don't get to see the day to day "improvements" so it is especially frightening.

Like you, I see the wisdom of Greg's transfer to Kindred (which is very well known for their success in treating patients). When he gets to Kindred he will have specialists caring for him which will make a big difference. And once he begins his regime there, you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Although it is further for you to go, you will be able to have more control over the situation.

I'd like to share a little from my own experience as a hospital nurse. It is always a good idea that if you are the main caretaker (legally) the first chance you have to speak to the physician and/or nurse in charge, make it clear that you are the primary caretaker and the one to be contacted first when a decision is to be made. The conversations with the doctor and nurse can be held over the phone if you are unable to be there in person. It is important and less stressful when it is clear to the staff who to contact.

You've handled your situation remarkably well, Nora. You know the truth and have defined the situation quite well. However, understanding the situation is only the beginning. Dealing with it is another thing - a challenge that would break many people. You've had the courage to move beyond it regardless of your own personal pain. That takes great courage and strength of character. Perseverance and not giving up is another challenge. You are helping to save Greg's life and that is no small challenge. This is the goal, Nora. And for his sake, for your sake and for Anna's sake, keep HOPE in your heart.

Although everything looks dark at the moment, good things are happening. There IS reason for hope. Try not to let it be dimmed by the struggle that you're going through, or the way everything looks now, or even how Greg looks. Someday you will know that it was well worth it! It's like having a baby, the pain is unbearable and seems to go on forever, but after the baby is born, the mother no longer remembers the pain because she has a beautiful child.

Nora, you are not alone! You are not fighting this battle by yourself. You're a woman of faith and have expressed that you know God is with you and is in control of this whole situation. This is the truth regardless of how things look now. God is there like the sun behind the clouds. And it's no accident that we're here for you! You have so many friends here that really care about Greg and have all gotten to know you through this experience, and who really care about you and Anna. You will continue to be in our hearts, in our thoughts and in our prayers. You are NOT alone.

You're doing everything that is within your power in this situation, and doing it so well. We are confident that you can do this! Lean on our support and prayers, our confidence in you, and know that whatever you need, we're here for you. If there are any needs you have, we will help you. We love you, Nora, and we're so glad you came here, and that you've remained here. You're doing what we can't do, but we support everything you're doing.

I know this is a long post, but I just wanted to add that you need to take care of yourself. Knowing that this will be a long process, and some moments will be more stressful than others, try to plan ahead to take time out for yourself. Whatever you can do to get a day each week when you can take the time to relax and do something that will re-create you and give you "new life" is vital for your own health. A time when you can just let go - and forget everything else should be one of the biggest priorities!

Hang in their Nora - we're all hanging with you! God bless you!

Liz

[susaan]

I'm very happy to hear things are moving forward,if slowly,and that you will be present at the meeting to introduce yourself to Greg's new team.

As Liz says,

"make it clear that you are the primary caretaker and the one to be contacted first when a decision is to be made. The conversations with the doctor and nurse can be held over the phone if you are unable to be there in person. It is important and less stressful when it is clear to the staff who to contact."

The point is,you know Greg well,and will make choices based on whats best for him until he can speak for himself,so make sure you get the info about those meetings - if you have to call the hospital to ensure you are present - hospital staff are familiar with family stuff,deal with it every day,and can be very understanding.

I salute you for keeping a sense of humor in all this,and look forward to the day we are all laughing over Greg's captured strangers !
May God give you strength in bucket loads,and the grace to rise above the hostility,the exhaustion and smile.

[Shebang]

((((Nora)))), my heart is breaking for you...I hear your struggles in your post. Don't allow these troubles to change your focus.

I tell you a just bit of my past two days to remind you that God does care and does answer prayer -- my adult daughter, Keena, went into emergency surgery yesterday evening with MRSA -- bad, bad stuff -- the medical professionals here could tell some tales, I'm sure. Anyway, me and my prayer support group began praying for her. Long, long story short -- she's coming home Monday (still undergoing treatment at home with her RN friend) -- which is very unusual I understand. (I would appreciate the prayers of the posters here on her behalf as well, please.)

Prayer does change things. Though it's a battle, keep your focus on God and not the magnitude of the problems around you -- and you will get through it -- and we will help you. Though your ordeal isn't ending quickly -- there is a reason that one day you will understand.

There is a story in the Bible about Moses and some battle he was involved in. When his arms were raised, they were winning the battle. When his arms got tired and he lowered them, they were losing. God worked through Moses' buddies who gathered round and helped hold up his arms until they ultimately won. May God help us and give us wisdom to help hold you and Greg up until this battle is won.

Much, much grace and strength to you.

[KyRain]

Greg is improving already!! He is gaining consciousness...YEAH!!! I am very excited.
If it doesn't snow here tomorrow I plan to drive to Atlanta to see him.

THANK YOU LIZ!! You are a Godsend to me. How wonderful you are a nurse and can address so many specific issues. How good of you to take your time to help and care.
You are a special soul. You and SO MANY others have encouraged me and kept me going. I will never forget it.

I had a really emotional day when I posted last and I apologize. It is my nature to be very open. I just have to forgive myself and move on and hope you all do the same.

Liz and Susaan, thank you for reinforcing what I knew that as Greg's still legal wife I have a right to be there and our child does too. What makes a hard situation even harder is having to deal with Greg's parents' anger. I don't want to take any decision making from them. I know I have a right to be informed and will be present at those meetings to ask questions, etc. Thankfully it looks like Greg will be making his own decisions....

They won't keep me away, I promise. I won't turn my back on Greg, no matter the past, no matter the present or the future. I am on Greg's side. Now, if Greg should tell me he didn't want me there, I would respect that as he would me.

I am old enough and have endured enough hardships that I know that "this too shall pass" and it shall.....

Even so, I am human and I hurt too and just as I will never forget everyone here at PR's
kindness, so too I will never forget others' cruelty.

But I can let it go and focus on what is important.

What is important, is Greg is doing BETTER and already so, he is coming around,
VERY GOOD news. I will keep you all updated.

Paula, You are the best arm holder I know!! You have a been a Godsend to me too. God bless you and I thank you and I will pray for your daughter, Keena as well.