Semi-crappy weekend.

[adina]

So this past weekend was the Nutcracker where my daughters used to dance. I say used to, because after that, we are will never go back there again.

My youngest was in the show, and she was beautiful. Unfortunately, we had to miss the last show (there are 4).

A preface....

Last year, after the Friday show, I talked to the director about shooting. She said that was fine. I was going to do this for my enjoyment, and for practice. Afterwards, I printed out about 5 4x5's and dropped them off as a small thank you. Studio called, wanted to see what else I had, ended up wanted 20 prints enlarged and framed. Parents were interested, talked to the director about selling to the parents, she was fine with that. I gave her a hugely discounted price because she bought so many. Live and learn.....

We talked about future recitals. She pulled tickets and gave them to me for where I would be shooting from, so I wasn't blocking anyone. Shot the spring recital no problem. Everyone was happy. This year's Nutcracker rolls around, along with another show they are doing. I stop in to talk to her about what she wants, added scenes and backdrops since last year. That kind of thing. Again, she pulls tickets from where I shot from, and give me tickets so the girls can see the other show while I am shooting it.

Remember that post about using the pics for her advertising? That's what we are up to. So she calls, I tell her I am going to charge her to use them. Never ever once was this brought up before (the advertising, not the charging) and she hesitates. I knew full well when I told her that I would charge that it may result in not shooting them anymore, but I just can't give her anymore. So she calls back, she's going to have the woman who does the studio shots do it, that way she can use them for what ever she wants. I say okay. She brings up the point that I'm making so much money off the parents several times. I got the impression she was dangling that out there as something she'd take away if I didn't give. I'm like, no, that's fine.

So on we are to the performance. Friday all our family goes to see my little candy. We have a great time, she's adorable. Saturday I'm just going to take her, she has 3 shows, it's an all day thing. So I go to the first one no problem. After the show, we have a snack and putz around a little before it's time to check her in for the next one. After I check her in, I go and check out the seats, to see if some friends of ours made it up. One of the ushers, who ordered photos in the past, and disappointed I wasn't shooting this year, tells me to watch out, they are going to be watching me. I'm like "what are you talking about?". She says I might want to take my bag out to the car. I have my daughters clothes in the bag, and my camera, not to shoot the show, but because they get to come out in thier costumes after this show. So I tell her this, and she's like "oh. Okay, but be careful, because they are going to be watching you like a hawk"

How stupid is this! She asked me not to shoot, I have no intention of shooting.

Oh wait...there's more.

So I go and sit down, and right away a woman runs down to tell on me, I have a bag in the seats. So a guy comes up and asks me do I know there is no photographic equipment allowed in the auditorium? I say yes, he says what's in the bag, I say my daughters clothes. He says you know you can't take pictures right, I say yes. Then another woman comes up and says I can't have the bag, they'll watch it down by the door. I DON'T THINK SO. I have my wallet, my car keys, my $2000 camera, my daughters clothes and my cell phone. I'm not just going to leave that laying on the floor by the door. So the usher who warned me asked if I wanted to leave it in the ticket booth. Okay, the ticket booth is locked, and I need these clothes in the building, not in my car. So I leave the bag there.

After the show, the guy corners me in the ticket booth, closes the door, and interrogates me about the pictures I took during the first show (none) and insists that I have a camera in my bag. Well of course I do. So does every other mom in here. He says the difference is that they are taking pictures for thier enjoyment, I am taking them to make a profit. I say she asked me not to shoot, I had no intention of shooting. He says after the incident last year...I ask him which incident...he says I took pictures during the show. WELL OF COURSE I DID! I talked to the director about it, she has them hanging in the studio. He says I was selling them to the parents, I say again, I talked to the director, she was fine with it. It wasn't until I wouldn't give her any more for free that there was a problem with anything.

Back and forth we go, and he says he's fairly sure this will be my daughters last performance. Well, no ****! After that, I wasn't going to take her back. I was in tears by the time I got home. I called home while I was in the car and let my other half know what happened. And then called and cried to my mommy. They were so rude, and just outright mean. Even after I showed him the five photos I had on my camera, which obviously were not of the show, he was rude and kicked a four year old girl out of dance class.

And to top it off, while my bag was locked in the ticket booth, HE WENT THRU AND SEARCHED IT!!!

After much discussion, we filed a police report. After the cop went to the school where the show was, and talked to a few people, he called and let us know the status. Apparently they told him that I was unauthorized to be selling those photos to the parents-the studio never said it was okay. HELLO! The proof book, along with order forms, were behind the desk at the studio. If it wasn't okay, why did they call me and let me know when I had stuff waiting there, and why did they order 20 prints, matted and framed? And if they didn't know I was doing it, or didn't want me to, why did they pull tickets and give them to me?

Obviously, I moped about it all weekend, but I'm feeling better now. Unfortunately, I never got anything in writing, my fault, even though my husband told me over and over I should.

The worst part is that my youngest isn't going to be able to dance there anymore. There are other studios, but we are going to wait until after Christmas. They are also both interested in gymnastics, so maybe we'll try that.

WOW....that's a book. If you made it this far you should get a sticker

adina

[Lara]

I'll take the sticker Adina, and send you a cyber hug. Sounds like you could use one! How ridiculous and cruel of these people!

[mjs1973]

WOW, I'm speachless... well, almost. That is incredible. The nerve of some people... some folks I will just never understand...

Sorry you had to go thru all this, but it's good to hear you're feeling better about it.
Hang in there!
Michael

Oh yeah, and I wanna sticker too. Naw, give it to your little girl instead!

[MJS]

I can totally understand what you are feeling. My daughter is involved in a Dance program and I refuse to shoot either video or stills for the studio even though I do both for a living. I always figure its better to keep that extra distance. I'm really sorry that you and your daughter had to go through all that. Just remember to channel your passion into your kids and photography. Ultimately, the dance studio will be the big loser.

The other MJS/Michael

[another view]

Ultimately, the dance studio will be the big loser.

Absolutely! The way some people think is just amazing...

[Asylum Steve]

Adina, you know that we're all with you on this. Knowing what a gentle soul you seem to be havng met you, I give you kudos for standing up to these people for as long as you did, and remaining very professional while trying to deal with an embarrassingly awkard situation.

Unfortunately, this can be a cruel business to be in. As you painfully learned, success with a client can turn ugly in an instant.

Still, I think you made two big mistakes, and you probably know that now. One, you should have had ALL of the details of your previous arrangements in writing, especially that they granted you permission to shoot the shows and sell prints to the parents. Also the deal with the trade out of tickets for shooting as well as the enlargements for display.

These documents would have all the evidence you needed to refute any "allegations" leveled at you the night you had the problems and would have kept you from being on the defensive so much.

It's not cynical to think that ANY verbal agreement, even when made on the friendliest of terms, can come back to haunt you if those terms change.

The other thing I would not have done would be to bring your camera, ANY camera, into the auditorium after you agreed not to shoot. I know it's expensive and you didn't want to leave it just anywhere, but not having a camera that night would have given them less reason for a confrontation in the first place.

BTW, I agree with your descision to pursue legal action. I'm no lawyer, but it seems to me they do not have the right to just search your belongings and harass you like that.

Anyway, try to keep in mind that they're the jerks, and it's their loss...

[Lionheart]

Man, that makes my blood BOIL !!! I'd be contacting an attorney and see if any of my civil rights had been violated. They can't be singling you out and confiscating property at will. They'd better have written policies on doing things like that dated prior to the incident. And you'll have witnesses, since yours was the only camera that got put away. I'd be making life miserable for that studio director in whatever legal way is available. But that's my prideful self talking. We're supposed to turn the other cheek. But you may want to contact an attorney to see if there are steps that need to be taken to protect yourself from any vindictive action from the studio, since this person doesn't seem terribly nice.

Hoping the rest of the holiday season is joyous for you and your family

Leon

[katt]

you probably do have legal recourse. Especially if NO ONE else was asked to leave their bag or camera outside.

I'm SO sorry and admire you for standing up to them the way you did. I would have been in frustrated tears very shortly. (i'm working on that, but i cry when I get frustrated and it isn't about getting my feelings hurt or whatever.)

[adina]

Had there even been a glimmer of a thought in my head that it would have gone that far, I would have done things differently. But she asked me not to shoot, I said okay, and for me, that was the end of it. In my mind, at that point, I was no different from any other mom there, and was going to enjoy the show, and take some snapshots of my little candy when they came out after the show, just like everyone else. Unfortunately, I don't have a p&s, only the 10d and 20d. So it was going to be one of those. I think that might have been part of the problem, that I had this big camera, which obviously meant I was there to take contraban dance photos.

Right now, we are going to try and get our tuition back (paid till June, along with another costume for that recital). Dh is going in tonight, and we will go from there. I called a friend of mine, she picked up my daughter's trophey (that was her whole reason for being in the show), and she is going to watch and see if they hang someone else's pics in the studio to finish the show. Then she is going to let me know how terrible they look.

My husband has assured me that it's not just me, some people are like that, he deals with them on a daily basis. And my dad offered to go and beat them up, he said he doesn't have any little kids, a night in jail won't bother him any.

What's really irritating is that they waited until I was there alone. Obviously, if it was this big of a deal, they wouldn't wait until 2 out of 4 shows were done. No one said anything when I was there with all of our family, only when I was there alone.

However, I've thought about this for a few days now, and I've decided it's not going to change the way I think of people. I'm not going to assume the worst of someone, until they give me a reason too. I will be a bit more cautious going into something like this in the future, everything will be in writing. Just because one person (or group, I'm sure he didn't come to this on his own) were huge big jerks, doesn't mean that everyone is.

Thanks for the sympathy, it makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one who finds this ridiculous.

adina

[adina]

and I talked to a friend of mine who owns a shop in town. She said she hasn't heard anything about it. I was sure when the police showed up it'd be all over town. I'd hate to be known as the person who called the cops on her daughter's dance class.

[paulnj]

you should call again until you are known as a person who isn't going to stand for that $^&%%

Going through one's personal effects without consent is called BURGLARY I do believe ;) ILLEGALLY searching one's bag is a MORAL crime if nothing else. HARRASSMENT is also a crime! Hanging your imagery from this day forward(or printing for any reason) is COPYRIGHT INFRINGMENT and THEFT OF SERVICES if they don't pay you or have WRITTEN permission.

Sure don't prejudge ANYONE, but also don't be a doormat or let them get away with PUNISHING you and your innocent daughter for wanting compensation for future endevors ;)

[Mig]

Adina,

I'm very sorry to here about your weekend. Obviously these people are not worth your time and I think you handled yourself very well. I would have probably completely gone off, but then again I don't have a 4 year old watching me.

Take care,

Danielle

[natatbeach]

As if they were the New York City Ballet...LOSERS... your daughters could benefit from not being surrounded by trolls like that.

Give me a break...I'm sorry you had to go thru all that... keep in mind that goes around comes around...life has a way of working itself out.... sorry again....

[adina]

According to the police, as there is no actual proof he went thru my bag, since nothing is missing, it is up to us how we want to handle it. But from here on out, it would be a civil matter, not a police matter. The cop said that my biggest concern at this point would be whether or not they try to copy the images they already have from previous shows. And I've got numerous moms who would give me a call as soon as it looked like they did. The cop, by the way, was extremely nice, and when he called, my husband thanked him for how he handled the matter, as I was obviously upset, and there alone. And the cop said that they were looking to put thier daughter in dance class, but it sure wasn't going to be there.

As it stands, I know that I didn't do anything wrong. Perhaps I could have prevented this by going a different route, terms in writing, so on.

Whether they admit it to anyone or not, they must know they were out of line. I mean, this was all about pictures they assumed I had took, and I showed them I didn't have any. So they go to sleep at night knowing that they are complete and total buttheads.

[ACArmstrong]

>>>Whether they admit it to anyone or not, they must know they were out of line. I mean, this was all about pictures they assumed I had took, and I showed them I didn't have any. So they go to sleep at night knowing that they are complete and total buttheads.<<<

That's the saddest part about folks like this, Adina - they usually don't see it that way at all. They trapse (sp?) through this world as if everyone owes them something and then throw a huge baby fit when people won't give any more. They usually never see it in themselves, and - in my experience, they sleep like babies (the bast***ds).

I still get this kind of crap all the time from small web clients - you cut them a deal because you feel a bit sorry for them - and then they want the world and they want it right now! Screw 'em.

Get it in writing, and I'll also say this. I read somewhere a while back that "people want to pay" for what they buy - meaning - they feel more satisfied when the ticket's a little bigger. Probably because they grew up with the "you get what you pay for" mentality drilled in their heads. Since I read that ( or heard that) I've used it as my motto. I lay out the price - as is. I don't over price, but I also don't underprice in hopes of landing a job. Guess what - my business has grown by leaps and bounds since I've taken this attitude.

Sorry this happened to you - hope your holidays get better.

[petemac]

>>>Whether they admit it to anyone or not, they must know they were out of line. I mean, this was all about pictures they assumed I had took, and I showed them I didn't have any. So they go to sleep at night knowing that they are complete and total buttheads.<<<

That's the saddest part about folks like this, Adina - they usually don't see it that way at all. They trapse (sp?) through this world as if everyone owes them something and then throw a huge baby fit when people won't give any more. They usually never see it in themselves, and - in my experience, they sleep like babies (the bast***ds).

I still get this kind of crap all the time from small web clients - you cut them a deal because you feel a bit sorry for them - and then they want the world and they want it right now! Screw 'em.

Get it in writing, and I'll also say this. I read somewhere a while back that "people want to pay" for what they buy - meaning - they feel more satisfied when the ticket's a little bigger. Probably because they grew up with the "you get what you pay for" mentality drilled in their heads. Since I read that ( or heard that) I've used it as my motto. I lay out the price - as is. I don't over price, but I also don't underprice in hopes of landing a job. Guess what - my business has grown by leaps and bounds since I've taken this attitude.

Sorry this happened to you - hope your holidays get better.

We had this conversation with a DJ at a wedding we were shooting. We were just talking about how great the couple was to work with. The DJ said that at the beginning of the season he raised his prices 100 across the board. Now his clients are that much more upscale and hold more respect for him. My boss did the same and we shoot less weddings now, but enjoy them much more. Some of the clients really make it a pleasure, and its definetly based on the respect in part from cost.

Sorry to hijack, adina i followed this post and am very sorry to hear this. Despite that i don't think you have anything to be sad over. Your actions really do not seem in poor taste. In fact I think it sounds as though you are the most respectable party involved. keep your chin up....

-pete

[Photo-John]

Adina-
Sorry you had to go through that. It's a terrible story. Unfortunately, I think we all have go through something like that at some point. It's a rite of passage. People don't want to pay for photos. They want us to pay them full price for whatever product or service they have. But for some reason the work we do isn't worth paying full price for. Screw 'em. Chalk it up to experience and behave accordingly in the future. The really bad thing about your experience is that your daughter was an inncocent bystander. Hopefully she understands and you can find another dance studio for her.

Thanks for sharing the story. It's a good one for people to read. Hopefully a few people can learn from your experience and not have to go through it themselves.