I'm pretty much going to agree with the others but here goes:
This is a great idea. Especially in the last year or two I've seen more people do the FSBO thing, and try to sell the highest priced house on the block with really, really bad pictures on a website. Technically bad and too much clutter, no thought to what they were doing. First impressions like this are bad. If you can give them shots like these, that's a great first impression.
Keep the text simple and direct. Maybe the ideas of turning lights on, etc are best kept for a second sheet given to people requesting more info or booking you. Tell them in a few words why they should hire you, it's something that probably never crosses the minds of most sellers.