Having stepped out of phoptography for a while now, I want to say a couple things.
I see too many photographers forget what a photo like this should be about. Which is the person. It's not about the highlights in the basted eyes! Only photographers obsess over something like that. Important? Absolutely! But if you just focus on things like that you'll never open yourself to your true capability.
No single photo will be perfect in everyone's opinions. So get over yourself, accept that some people know more or have different experiences and "listen" to them, even if you disagree. The moment you turn someone off because you think you know more than them is the moment you lose.
I felt that Hodgy did a great job here with an example of how it's about the person (even though lighting and catchlights and all that other stuff is important) Hodgy managed to bring out a connection with the young girl in his examples.
Nevermind "HOW" Hodgy did it! Ask yourselves WHY it makes the impact it does?
I'm getting off my soapbox now. It's easy for me to critique because I'm less active in these boards. I'm sorry for coming in and blasting like I am thoough.
Beautiful young girl, I hope she wil enjoy your portrait in the years to come. Make sure to get one framed for her.