Sweet Lorraine, Plate 1

[draymorton]

Production still of my favorite model.

Was trying to go edgy with everything - pp, color, crop, etc, because it suits the character's temperment. Question is, does it work?

Feedback appreciated...

[geraldb]

I love the light and her expression but the hand with the cigarette is taking away from the face and the image as a whole. I imagined them sharp but didn't work for me either way, sorry.

[draymorton]

No, sharp wouldn't work at all.

So you're saying I should remove the hand altogether?

[geraldb]

Yes, that is my opinion. It won't hurt to try it but the only thing that would be left to deal with without the cigarette is the little smoke around her mouth, I know it could be fixed but that would take the photo to a whole new subject without cigarette and smoke, right?. If the smoke is more obvious it won't be a problem to remove the hand since she still would look smoking without them. It is your call.

[Alexandre da Veiga]

If it were all sharp, it would look flat.
I find the smoke distracting. She has a very strong face, and the smoke is keeps it from "shining".
I think you should show the whole face or half the face, I am not feeling the 2/3 of face.

[draymorton]

Okay, I'll give it a whirl. Thanks. Worried that context might be lost in the process, though.

I wonder about cropping down lower.

[Greg McCary]

I love it. I would like to see an edit with the cig in focus but I like it where it is. I love the processing.

[draymorton]

If it were all sharp, it would look flat.
I find the smoke distracting. She has a very strong face, and the smoke is keeps it from "shining".
I think you should show the whole face or half the face, I am not feeling the 2/3 of face.

Interesting. Agree that it would look flat.

Smoke - I have a frame without. As for shining, there is little that is shiny about this character. The smoke veil seemed appropriate. But I could try one without.

I don't know why I went for the 2/3. To create tension, I guess.

[draymorton]

I love it. I would like to see an edit with the cig in focus but I like it where it is. I love the processing.

Thanks, Greg. Unfortunately no edit with the cig in focus, for the reason that Alexandre stated. And I think he's right.

I probably SHOULD have shot at least one with the cig in focus, though.

[geraldb]

It would be awesome If she had her hand holding the cigarette while resting on her cheek and all in focus.

[draymorton]

Ah, right. Well I do have some like that. But I'm not sure that kind of body language would accurately express the character's attitude. It's a fine line, I guess. But I do have at least one that is as you describe. I'll see what I can do with it.

Another take from the same session:



Note: the necklace is deliberately off-kilter.

[Frog]

I do find the original edgy but that might be because I'm kind of old and young people might find it tame.
I think the blurry cigarette works because it is blurry and since its on the left, the first thing the eye goes to and when it finds it blurry, it quickly goes to the face and the connection is made. Takes much longer to say that than for the action to occur.
The only thing I don' tlike is the smoke coming out of her mouth. When I first look, it seems like a blemish or bad lighting or something. If you could get the smoke more distinct ??

[draymorton]

Hmm... I see what you mean. I might be able to ADD smoke that is more distinct. That could work if I can find the right smoke.

[armando_m]

#1 I like the sun light on the blurry hand and the cigar explains the barely visible smoke on her face

Didn't realized she had freckles , any other image I remember from her she had nicely post processed skin

#1 also makes her look a bit fat (ducking)

#2 she looks stressed or tired... ? good job making the image look like and old photo

[draymorton]

Thanks. I think I'm dumping #1. It does make her look fat. Glad I didn't give her a print.

#2 - Tired or stressed? Is it in a bad way? She's kind of in character and the character is sullen and distressed.

[GB1]

Dray, I like the first post, though I have a suggestion: try a crop right down the center of her face (splitting it in half), keeping everything to the left of the split. It would remove that odd white area on the right side (her left), which appears to be something like lens flare or reflection in a window(??) Let me know how it goes!

G

[LeeIs]

Is the new style working close to the edges? I'm so far behind in trends, I tend to ignore them. I remember when I first commented on a strong shadow on a fashion shoot and the photographer said that's the 'in' now. I was amazed that a strong shadow in a model shoot would be the 'in' thing at some point.

I'm asking about the edges, because the left eye is right on the edge, no way you missed that. It looks like a Conscious effort by you to frame it that way. so is it the 'in' thing now? For me it totally like gets me tense how cut off that is. I love the rest of it though. her gaze, the smoke, cig, etc. all are great. The lighting in the BG is also very good. Overall great except for that one thing!

Edit: reading back, I love GB suggestion. I think a crop half way through her head makes a very strong image.

[draymorton]

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

GB - I ALMOST cropped it that way before posting here. But I was thinking that removing that left eye would disrupt the gaze too much. Maybe not, though. I just tried the crop again and I think it really works. The white area to which you are referring is smoke, and yes, cropping in would remove the portion that you were finding problematic. Thanks for the suggestion; I think I'll be going with it!

Liban - haha, I don't know; I see a lot of odd crops these days, so it is definitely more of an in-thing than ever before. I actually cropped that way specifically to create tension. The character is in what seems to be a state of constant turmoil. But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I like GB's suggestion, which solves a few problems at once.

Beyond cropping, composition, etc. since you've seen her before, is #1 terribly unflattering to her? That would be an important consideration which would determine if this image is sent to her and/or the film's producer.

Also wondering about #2, which I actually did send to her. Hope that wasn't a mistake!

[LeeIs]

2 is fine. Just looks a little flat. The tones on her shoulder and BG kind of melt in to each other. Also her skin tones look identical to the tones on the wall on my screen. I don't think she'll mind though. It's a good strong portrait. All the issues i have are minor things.

[draymorton]

Thanks, man. Flatness noted. It's the textures and lighting. If I did this again (which I hope I can), I would use rim lights.

Edit of #1:

[GB1]

Dray -- I like the crop. One suggestion, though it isn't bad, is to selectively and very slightly sharpen up her eye, just a tad. Very different type of photograph, regardless of crop.

G

[draymorton]

GB - so do I. Thx for the suggestion.

The eye - you read my mind. I sharpened the eye and the lips just after I posted the above edit. Should probably have sharpened the eyebrow, too...

[arne saknussen]

I think the first shot shows so much more character.

[draymorton]

Arne, you mean the first shot as opposed to the second shot or the first crop of the first shot?

[arne saknussen]

Arne, you mean the first shot as opposed to the second shot or the first crop of the first shot?

The first shot you posted. Far more character going on in that one.