It was dark, 15 second exposure showed me that there was an unfortunate plaque in the background, but I got it to the computer and wondered...is it really that unfortunate?

Image is clickable.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/148/390855034_e585e02c8c.jpg
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/148/390855034_e585e02c8c_o.jpg)


The slightly tilted horizon, yay or nay?

Color too warm? Should I desaturate it or BW it?

Composition too tight?

Both faces are my own, long exposure, used a keychain LED flashlight for illumination, no edit on this image.

I think the problems are minor and fixable.
If it were mine, I'd want the faces more balanced lightwise with probably a bit less on the right face and a bit more on left one.
Since the plaque is there, a bit higher angle so the corner isn't chopped by the table.
With the sign there, it seems to make a social statement. Retirees are ghosts or something...not sure what but it makes me think which is always good in a photo.
You have something going here. Try it again. imho.

The only thing I ant is to know how you did it. Other than that, excellent, I like the plaque...
Greg

the plaque adds to the shot IMO. I know this is a self portrait, but the same idea/execution with an older model's face might be more powerful. Just a thought. :) Looks good.

Frog:
I do plan to reshoot this, maybe with another model so I can aim the light a little easier while keeping it concealed, I was concentrating so much on hiding the light that I overexposed my right face. A higher angle will be used next time. Thanks

Greg: Thanks, I used an LED keychain flashlight to illuminate my face, then I moved over to the next seat and did it again. Same flashlight I use for my light tagging (http://bsphotographs.com/tips.htm#lightpainting) shots.

ravenmore:
older model would be a great idea, problem is, I dont have any old people readily available, but I'll keep that in mind.

you need to somehow balance out the light from the LED flashlight, because this is much too blue. Kind of the same effect of gelling flashes, try to find something that's semi-translucent yellow to balance out with the normal lights. good concept though.