self portrait - looking for C&C

[jetrim]

New to the forum and to DSLR for that matter, looking to learn more about shooting people.

This shot was taken kinda spur of the moment after work in a parking garage. Hand held Fuji S-2, Tamron 28-70, F4.5 using a Walgreen's white plastic bag as a flash diffuser (hey sometimes you have to improvise ). The only post processing was coversion to grey scale, crop, and adjust the highlight+10/midtone-5/shadow-10

Does it work? Possible improvements? Other comments?

[starriderrick]

I'm new to portraits as well...I'll give it a go. The bright lights are a distraction for me.The crop works but the background does not.Make sense?
Backgrounds are everything when it comes to an idea like this. My suggestion...A busy urban scene,a storefront / resturaunt,ect.Experiment. That's what I do with 90 % of my work. Take 10 shots and one may deliver... if I'm lucky.
Welcome to PR jetrim.

Rick

[Don Schaeffer]

The lights in the background are distracting. They can be cloned out or dimmed.

[MB1]

I'd go for a tighter crop (to about the bottom of your hairline) so the focus is on your face, not your head.

Yes the lights at eye level are a major distraction. You could clone them out, burn them in or turn the whole image very light by increasing the exposure for the whole thing.

[GB1]

Welcome to the forums!

The Good: It is reasonably sharp. I like the tonal range. B&W looks great on portraits and this one is no exception.

The Bad: The lights back there are distracting. It looks very impromptu in that it doesn't seem like you cleaned your glasses etc before you took it. Composition isn't perfect (could use more of the back of your head) but that is expected under the circumstances.

You may want to try MB's suggestion on the tighter crop. I see some possibilities there.

Again - welcome.

Gb

[jetrim]

Thanks for all the suggestions! To be honest, this was VERY impromptu and I was just happy not to have chopped off anything important. In PP I was so intent on bringing out the facial features, I didn't pay attention to the irritating light in the background...OOOOPS!

So here is the unedited original, just for a point of reference:


Here is the tighter crop, per MB1


...and the wider crop, per GB1


I think I like the tighter better, but the refraction from the removed light spot in the lens of the glasses is now driving me nuts because I can't seem to edit it out convincingly