He Loves Me Not

[Alison]

Hardcore CC only please as you know shots like these are not my strong point. TIA

[Didache]

Alison .. not my strong point either, but here goes ...

The exposure is fine I think - somewhat gloomy which fits the title, but you have the colours nailed pretty nicely and there are no burnt out bits. Not sure about the ultra black - I think I would prefer a shadowy background rather than a completely black one, but that is a personal view only.

The problem for me is largely in the composition. The stem coming from the side is not natural - perhaps better a rose drooping in one of those tiny rose vases? Or just lying on a table, with or without some other prop to indicate a romance ended? (For instance, I have seen a stunning example of a flower in a broken Newcastle Brown Ale bottle which really worked on a poignant level) With the stem coming from the side, there is inevitably rather a lot of black (too much) which, in this case, I don't think works as negative space. In other words, the idea is fine, and the photography is fine, but the composition looks rather hastily put together. Even a diagonal on the stem would help.

The other thing is the petals (reminiscent of falling tears?) One of the cardinal rules of still life (which I am always getting hammered for in club critiques!) is that you have total control - so the petals being out of focus is really a hindrance to it, not a help. You would need, I think, to use an ultra small aperture and make sure the whole image is sharp front to back.

Hope this is helpful to you! You asked for the hard core!

Cheers
Mike

[Alison]

Yep that's what I'm here for. Thanks Mike.
I'm not interested in "Nice Pic" comments. How will I ever learn from that?
I really like your suggestions of the beer bottle, unfortunately, we don't drink beer lol.
The fact that you understood the story from my photograph makes me happy.

[MB1]

Nice pic.

Actually I think this would do much better as a portrait rather than a landscape format. As it stands there is too much dead black space on both the left and right and that diminishes the importance of your subject.

As far as the black backdrop; that is going to make your colors pop nicely (you did a good job with the lighting BTW) but too much of it overwhelms things as I believe is happening here.

I do like the way the leading edge of one of the fallen petals is nicely in focus but I think the out of focus one is a problem both because of the focus and because of the location. I'd like to see both petals and the dead flower form more of a line rather than a triangle.

Still, this is a good start to a really neat image.

[Overbeyond]

Not interesting enough really. If the out of focus petals are to simulate movement then it does not work. To this end I would have gone portrait mode and have say an in-focus (already fallen) petal lying on a surface below and the other two out of focus petals falling. Even that sounds a bit complicated now that I read it but you will get the drift.

[Alison]

Thanks for the tips guys. I might re-shoot it, depends if my kids let me have some "me" time.
Ahhh you spotted my triangle huh? :thumbsup: Yeah that's exactly what I was going for trying not to make it look too neat.
And I'm pleased you like my lighting
I posted it here My fancy studio set up

[Mule]

First let me point out that I learn a lot from people like you willing to post a photo for critique and then reading the take posted by others. Thanks for taking the time to do this Alison, and for the others that replied.

Second, before reading the other comments my initial thought was that the fallen petals should be in focus. Or at least on the same plane as the center of the rose.

After reading the comments I would agree that it would be more interesting (for me) to see the stem of the rose arch upwards.

Overall, I found the image interesting.

[readingr]

Hard core Huh!

Well here goes - I don't like it :LOL:

After reading all the other comments I think the only thing I can add is that I would make a bigger triangle which extends more into the corners.

One suggestion for you:

Why not get the stalk in the top right so the head points downward.

Use F22 or higher on a long exposure and then drop one of the petals so that you have a blur leading down to one of them. Now that could be excellent - In fact I might try that myself.

Okay so there were two suggestions!

I do like the lighting and I like the black background, but in some respects it looks a little too black perhaps a bit of lighting in the background could help it along some more.

Nice colours too.

Roger

[Alison]

LOL @ Roger.

[GB1]

Alison, It's decent but somehow I don't like the aspect ratio, seems it should be a vertical-format pic (?) The selective focus is interesting but the bottom leaves need some negative (black) space under them. The flower is a little too hot/bright. I might also have lit the stem just a tad more.......

G

[gahspidy]

I agree about the stem coming in from the side looking. . .awkward. I'll just say that my immediate reaction to this was that this would improve a whole lot just by removing that distant out of focus petal. Not just because it is not in focus, but because two petals does not work for me here nearly as well as I think one lone petal does. When I imagine this image edited so the other petal is cloned out, I think it would be a major improvment. Then cropping it vertically . . . .the stem coming in from the side does not seem to bother me any after this.
So, for me this image can really work well with a clone and a crop.

[photoheretic]

It's a very nice pic :-D.....but my immediate reaction was that the aspect ratio or positioning of the elements in the frame almost worked but wasn't quite right. Also I agree the stem coming from the side looks unnatural it makes me think of it sitting out in space pruned off. I also noticed the centered triangle immediately and to me it looks too geometric for the subject.

Hope that doesn't sound bad because I do actually like the shot, and where you are going with this, I hope you have time to do some variations.

Eric

[Alison]

Hope that doesn't sound bad because I do actually like the shot, and where you are going with this, I hope you have time to do some variations.

Eric

Nope that doesn't sound bad at all. The more honesty I get, the better my shots will get, hopefully haha.

Thanks for the CC guys Here are my re-edits.

[gahspidy]

That 1st re-edit is exactly what I had in mind. Nice work in arranging the stem to come down from the upper right corner. I think it works well.

[GB1]

.. but because two petals does not work for me here nearly as well as I think one lone petal does.

Hmmm. Interesting............I tend to agree, not that I think about it. An interior decorator once told me that odd numbers of framed images, vases, etc works but even numbers do not. May apply in this situation.

G

[readingr]

Nope that doesn't sound bad at all. The more honesty I get, the better my shots will get, hopefully haha.

Thanks for the CC guys Here are my re-edits.

Where did the pics go?

Roger