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Honnestly, this one doesn't quite works for me as it stands. Your composition is interesting, I see potential here. The two things that I find problematic here are:
1) the lighting which is too flat and too cold: a little play of light and shadows and warmer tones would be nice.
2) the dof is too narrow. The extreme lelf of the frame is out of focus. An aperture of f/9 or so would have worked here.