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Thread: stalker? =\

  1. #1
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    stalker? =\

    One day I went over to my friends house with a friend and he went swimming with her. I was taking pictures because I didn't have my bathing suit on and I had school clothes on. I got some pictures and just found out she hates me now because she thinks i'm a stalker. I love photography and taking portraits of people. What can I say? I don't go home and do dirty things to the images, or peek in their windows at night.

    I've been thinking about quitting photography, or only doing sports where there are a lot of other photorgaphers around. Or jobs I am paid for, which never happens.

    Or maybe it's just girls at 16 yrs old don't know what the true meaning stalking is.(Im 17 just so you know :P)

    It hurts when you're just trying to do what you love, then you get called a stalker.
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  2. #2
    Captain of the Ship Photo-John's Avatar
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    Re: stalker? =\

    Ahhh, well. I guess you're learning about women, huh? Most of us guys don't learn these things very easily. I would recommend being very careful about what you do with your camera around women. Ask them before you take pictures. And if there's a bathing suit involved, be extra, extra careful.
    Photo-John

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    Re: stalker? =\

    Quote Originally Posted by Photo-John
    Ahhh, well. I guess you're learning about women, huh? Most of us guys don't learn these things very easily. I would recommend being very careful about what you do with your camera around women. Ask them before you take pictures. And if there's a bathing suit involved, be extra, extra careful.
    But she wasn't in a bathing suit . Full clothing, just jumped in.
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    Member pyxel's Avatar
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    Re: stalker? =\

    Quote Originally Posted by Tom_Proctor
    But she wasn't in a bathing suit . Full clothing, just jumped in.
    Is she a friend of yours? If not, I suggest you talk to her about your passion for photography so she doesn't think weird things about you, women are weird like that, especially at such a young age. Lesson to be learned; always ask first!

    Why would you quit such a fantastic hobby over something so stupid? It's not worth it!
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  5. #5
    don't tase me, bro! Asylum Steve's Avatar
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    Let's not overlook the obvious solution...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tom_Proctor
    It hurts when you're just trying to do what you love, then you get called a stalker.
    The advice about photographing women is solid, but it's a catch-22 because if you can take really good pics of women, they love you (or so I've been told). So, how are you gonna get good if you don't start somewhere?

    Anyway, they may be an easy way out of this (I mean, if you really care what she thinks of you). If any of the shots came out good, print them up for her. Once she realizes that you are serious about your work, she may change her opinion of you.
    "Riding along on a carousel...tryin' to catch up to you..."

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  6. #6
    Captain of the Ship Photo-John's Avatar
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    Nice!

    Quote Originally Posted by Asylum Steve
    Anyway, they may be an easy way out of this (I mean, if you really care what she thinks of you). If any of the shots came out good, print them up for her. Once she realizes that you are serious about your work, she may change her opinion of you.
    See - that's why Steve is a pro and I just avoid pointing my camera at the ladies. He knows what to do

    I just get scared and hide.
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  7. #7
    Fluorite Toothpaste poker's Avatar
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    Re: Let's not overlook the obvious solution...

    Quote Originally Posted by Asylum Steve
    Anyway, they may be an easy way out of this (I mean, if you really care what she thinks of you). If any of the shots came out good, print them up for her. Once she realizes that you are serious about your work, she may change her opinion of you.
    Yeah, print the best ones and show her that you are serious. Tell her that you love these shots so much that you wallpapered your room with it and say good night to them every evening. :blush2:

    Maybe not a good idea.

    JUST KIDDING....couldn't help myself.

    Don't even worry about it. Don't ever let anybody get in the way of your photography.

    The "desire" to take pictures is something some people just don't understand.
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  8. #8
    Captain of the Ship Photo-John's Avatar
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    Re: Let's not overlook the obvious solution...

    Quote Originally Posted by manacsa
    Yeah, print the best ones and show her that you are serious. Tell her that you love these shots so much that you wallpapered your room with it and say good night to them every evening. :blush2:
    Next step, build a shrine in your closet and make a full-sized model of her with the photos. You're not even close to stalking, yet!
    Photo-John

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  9. #9
    mooo...wooh hoooh! schrackman's Avatar
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    Re: stalker? =\

    I think at this age many girls are somewhat self-conscious of their looks (like having a pimple on her forehead or a bad hair day). Sometimes, they're just in a snotty mood, or they just don't know you well enough. Or perhaps they've had some negative encounter with a guy and a camera. Either way, the advice to ask first and then shoot is one way to ensure that you don't offend someone with taking their picture.

    Have you tried apologizing to this young lady? Letting her know that you did not intend to offend her? It might help smooth things over if you did.

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  10. #10
    Analog Photographer, Digital World Axle's Avatar
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    Re: stalker? =\

    Yes apologize first, and be sensire about it (which I'm sure you are), and then absolutly show her your work.

    I've always asked permission before taking photos of the ladies, and they even stay very self concious, a recent subject of mine, she has problems with achne on her forehead and he came to me after and asked if I could remove said items from her forehead, which I did and she was very grateful.

    But please don't quit because of one mishap, and it should cost you your friendship either.
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  11. #11
    Princess of the OT adina's Avatar
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    Re: stalker? =\

    I had a stalker once, I married his cousin.

    What a 16 yr calls stalking and what really is stalking are two huge different things. She was probably just embarrassed, and you approaching her is going to embarrass her more.

    Take it with a grain of salt...if you want to give her a print, go ahead, but it most likely isn't going to lift the veil and show her how serious you are.

    Girls are weird. Ignore it and move on. And avoid photographing her in the future, she's obviously uncomfortable with it. Of course when she sees you photographing everyone else, she'll feel left out and jealous and then will say that you hate her. Like I said, girls are weird.
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  12. #12
    Princess of the OT adina's Avatar
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    Re: stalker? =\

    also, I think you guys are posting under the assumption 16 yr old girls can be reasonable. Having been one, I can assure you, they can not.
    I sleep, but I don't rest.

  13. #13
    Analog Photographer, Digital World Axle's Avatar
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    Re: stalker? =\

    Quote Originally Posted by adina
    also, I think you guys are posting under the assumption 16 yr old girls can be reasonable. Having been one, I can assure you, they can not.
    Very Good point, I should have realized this having a good friend (whom I consider a sister) who was 16 not so long ago either.

    Note: in my last post I meant "Shouldn't" instead of "should"
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  14. #14
    has-been... another view's Avatar
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    Re: stalker? =\

    My wife hates having her picture taken and gets mad when I point the camera anywhere near her. She's not 16 either... Best picture I have of her is from about five years ago with her hand over the lens but her face showing thru her fingers. If I post it bad things will happen.

    My point is that some people just don't want their picture taken at all. I'd guess that there is a higher percentage of 16 year old girls that fall into this category, but it's not just them. Asking first usually leads to uninteresting shots if you're going for candid. If someone doesn't want their picture taken then just move on. Certainly not worth quitting photography because of this.

  15. #15
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    Re: stalker? =\

    Quote Originally Posted by Tom_Proctor
    One day I went over to my friends house with a friend and he went swimming with her.

    I don't quite get it here. Was she a freind or not? I am kinda dense
    If she was a friend then she should already know you are a photographer.
    By all means ask first next time

  16. #16
    Liz
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    Re: stalker? =\

    One day I went over to my friends house with a friend

    Tom,

    Is it possible the friend you went with to your "other" friend's house could help you out here?

    Liz

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