So completely OT - Quitter

[tijean]

Well, on any other site this would be way too off topic, but since the topics have ranged from everything from politics and religion to billboards of hairy Aussie men dresses as superheros, what the hey.

I've been suffering from some pretty unpleasent health problems for the last couple of years. I finally discovered the source - Crohn's Disease. I don't know which was worse, the pain, the fatique, the strain my constant sickness put on my relationsips with friends, family, and my boyfriend, or how that constant state of sickness prevented the accomplishments both professional and personal goals. Okay, so the pain was definately the worse. Imagine having your intestines torn from the inside and you will get the proper picture.

It is hard on a landscape photographer to never know if you will have a violent attack 3 miles into a hike and 40 miles from home.

With this disease you are suppose to lose weight, but that effect was actually reversed when my activity level went from fairly constant to completely inert.

The point of all this is actually rather positive. I have been "thinking about" quitting smoking for a while now, as nearly every smoker thinks about it whenever they can't quite make a flight of stairs. Smoking does not cause Crohn's and it will not go away when I stop, but the general medical consensous is that it aggrivates it and worsens the number and intensity of attacks. According to one study, attacks went down 65% in smokers after they had been tabacco-free for one year.

Well, I decided today that I'm tired of being sick. I've gotten over the initial depression involved with all of this, as well as a good dose of "why me" anger. It's been a test, and will continue to be. Whether from a high power, myself, or some karmic life force -- it has been a test. Like way too many things I've been through in my life: I hate what happened, I'm proud as hell to have gotten through it as the personI am now.

Now I'm just sick of it. I've already changed my diet drastically, though more in frequency and amount than content (eating constantly instead of the running on fumes all day, then filling up on dinner at about 10pm). I've getting my energy back now that I've learned to minimize attacks and have been able to get out more because of that (two short hikes last weekend). I've even lost some of that couch potato, screwed up metabolism weight and am back down to 145 pounds, just by doing the things I have to manage the disease.

Well, I haven't had a cigarette all day. I had tried before and failed misably, so this time it is with the help of a nicotine patch and half a zanex (yes, I have a perscription). Before I was determined to do it without all of these silly "gimicks." Those were trial runs that never lasted more than a few hours and at the end of which I was a maniac. They served an imporant purpose: humility.

So, wish me luck. It's been 5 hours and I don't feel like killing anyone yet. I'm actually pretty calm so far and know what to expect if that doesn't last. All pretty good for someone who hasn't been without a cigarette for more than hour many time in the last ten years. (yes, that would make me 13 when I started). I think I'm finally fed up enough to do it.

[Chunk]

Good luck. I'm sure you will find quitting worthwhile, Crohn's or not. I quit 25 years ago from about 2 1/2 packs a day using a filter system that reduced the amount of nicotine you got over a couple months. I think what made it easier was that you had to clean all the crap that got trapped in the fiilter after every few smokes. I know going cold turkey must be a lot harder but many folks are successful doing it that way. After quitting I always figured that there was only one cigarette that I didn't have to smoke - the next one - and any fool could not smoke just one cigarette. ( I proved that)

Think of all the camera gear you will be able to buy with your smoking budget now.

Keep it up. Let us know how it's going.

[92135011]

keep yourself busy by doin something
Hey now that you dont smoke, every year you can buy yourself something nice!
Thats how I look at it every time I get something nice for myself
I don smoke, drink, do drugs. I might as well feed another addiction
good luck on your endeavors

[Trevor Ash]

I have confidence that you can conquer your smoking habit.

I quit about 3 or 4 years ago after having smoked for about 8 to 9 years. I went through it multiple times and finally quit on my third try. I was able to do it with the patch and making small commitements and sticking with them.

I think you'll be successful because you have a very good reason to quit. Also, I know how hard it is and what it means to commit verbally to others. That's a big step and I'm proud and happy for you.

I want to tell you the secret about why I was able to quite, I tell it to other smokers as well, but everyone is different so don't think that it necessarily applies to you. When I first started using the patch I didn't think it was really doing anything. That's why I failed the first few times. I'd just smoke anyway because I couldn't tell a difference with the patch. But then, on my third try something changed....I did a little experiemnt on myself that PROVED the patch was making a substantial difference. Do you know that feeling you get when you haven't had a cigarette in like 24 hours and when you finally get to suck one down you almost feel like you're getting a head rush and get a real sense of PHYSICAL satisfaction? Well, I noticed that if I wore the patch and went 24 hours without smoking and then sucked one down in the morning that the feeling and head rush I'd normally get just wasn't there. That realization was the key for me....as simple as it sounds. So I think for me while my body has having a difficult time adjusting it wa mostly my brain that prevented me from quitting.

The patch helps the body but not the brain!

Good luck, just remember that it's mental AND physical addiction and treat them separately.

[Peter_AUS]

I have to say, this sort of discussion isn't rare at all.

Crohn's disease is a pretty hard disease to live with and strange that it took so long to diagnose.

The feelings you have been going through are typical of anyone that has a major event happen in their lives, Death, Diagnosis of Cancer, Major Event happening to someone close, etc. There are 7 stages of grief and you are over the main hurdle. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a book about it called "Death and Dying" a great read and explains exactly what you have been going through.

Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Acceptance, etc. I have the book but it is packed away so can't tell you all of them.

It is hard to stop smoking and once you do, it is just as hard to stay stopped. I quite smoking in 1986 after starting smoking at 10 1/2 in 1964 and did it by just stoping, no patches etc back then, and it was difficult but it also takes a dedicated mind set to do it that way as well.

As Trevour says it is a Mental and Physical addiction and you need to address both to be successful but it sounds like you may have gotten over the Mental side of things and are now addressing the Physical. If you make it through the day, which you certainly will, then remember if you can do one day, you can do the rest of your life.

A couple of years ago, a close friends husband was diagnosed with Alcholism, and was given not all that long to live, he stopped drinking cold turkey, took no tablets for withdrawals which can be quite frightening to not just the patient but all around them. He is still alive today, has cirrhosis of the Liver and will live as long as his body sees fit, but he was able to go without from the moment he realised he had shortened his life drastically. He is currently 60 which is a big milestone for him believe me.

Just remember, when you get the urge, squash the cigarette packet up and chuck it out, and say "No you aren't ruling my Life anymore !"

[another view]

Good for you for quitting. I agree with Trevor - it's a step to tell people that you are quitting. Make sure to tell the people closest to you, they'll keep an eye on you! ;) I think you have to really want to quit and have a good reason for doing it, other than what everyone else tells you. You have to have a personal reason, and it helps to be a little angry about doing it in the first place - I got that from your post.

That was my personal experience anyway but I have to admit that after quitting five years ago I have slipped up a bit over the last winter. I know I'll be paying for it in a big way when I get back in my kayak (hopefully soon - spring is a little late here this year...). After being in good shape for long distance paddles last summer, I know it'll be really tough starting out. And that will do it for me - brought on only by me.

Crohn's Disease was something I hadn't heard of until a few years ago when a friend's daughter was diagnosed with it. Since then I've heard of a couple of other people that have it, and live with it pretty well. No, it's not always easy but it can be dealt with.

Best of luck with everything, and keep us updated with your progress. Having to tell us (and anyone else) how quitting is going could be good encouragement. Might help me too...

[tijean]

Thanks everyone so much for your support. My boyfriend knows and being both supportive generally and the being one that gets woken up at 3am pretty regularly to hear me scream and cry, will he keep me in line. I have a million other reasons to quit, too.

My grandfather (and hero) died of lung cancer thirteen years and one day ago. My father had a heart attack at 43, dispite an hour of treadmill and weight work 6 days a week and a strict diet. He smoked for 15 years and quit when he was 30 -- when the doctor sat him down and told him that he could either quit smoking or decide who would raise his children. He's doing great now (dispite being a bit pouty about his upcoming 50th birthday ;) ) but seeing my father have a heart attack didn't even do it for me. Scraping together pennies to pay for cigarettes when I barely had enough for food didn't do it for me. It's just so easy to accept smoking as a given, especially living in in the heart of Appalachia.

The slow slid down is easy. It's gradual and comfortable and full of gem-like excuses to hold out against reason. Crohn's isn't a behavior-based disease, but I was living in a way that made bad into horrible (ignoring myself in the name of work, school, and the almighty dollar.) I had to get pissed at both myself and the disease.

Okay, and it helps to flip through B&H and esprit.com and think of prices in terms of one week not smoking, two weeks not smoking, and a month not smoking. tehe.

[adina]

Good for you for quitting. And good luck, I'm sure it is a very difficult thing to do.

adina

[Chunk]

Okay, and it helps to flip through B&H and esprit.com and think of prices in terms of one week not smoking, two weeks not smoking, and a month not smoking. tehe.

That's the way to do it! Go buy something for your camera today with one day's worth of not smoking.

How are you doing today? Early morning was rough for me when I was smoking, but pretty soon you won't have that morning cough that you may have now and it'll be great.

Keep it going.

[tijean]

Thanks! Today's so far, so good. The toughest part for me is after I eat. Last night was ROUGH though and I may have to consider something besides the patch, like gum or that herbal patch or just grin and bare cold turkey-style, if it doesn't improve in a week (not jumping ship too quickly). Last night was like a nightmare catalog of every fear, insecurity, and bad experience I've ever had. One minute my house was falling down and filling with bugs, the next my ex-boyfriend was getting married! Just add a relative and any good psych student would've had enough material for every paper they needed through their doctorate.

[Lara]

Don't give up! The beginning is the absolute worse. You have just begun the patch, so giving it more time is a good thing. Grin and bare it HAS to be the most difficult.

A few suggestions, which you may already be doing, but it can't hurt to offfer ;)

Get rid of all the cigarettes and ash trays in your home. Don't let others smoke in you home either.
Now that you are trying to quit, don't even take one puff.
Ask your friends and family not to smoke around you. Tell them you need their support in quitting.
Change your routine, like where or the time you have your meals.
Do something nice for yourself! You deserve rewards!
Drinking lots of water/liquids is a help.
If it's possible, have a person you can call, when you need to talk your way out of having that cigarette.
Vent here on PR any time.

The best of luck to you. It's not easy, but it is definitely achievable.

[tijean]

So one quick question:

When does the homocial feeling go away?

I'm half serious. I'm going the patch thing for 3 weeks, so am I going to be a maniac for about month?

[Lara]

Even if you are only half serious, you should speak with a physician and tell them what you are going through. As the stuff from the patch gets into your system, you should start feeling less and less panic. If that's not happening, then you need more assistance from a doctor to help you through this.

Believe me, I am not making light of your situation. I watched my husband quit after being a smoker for over 20 years. It's not easy, but it is possible.

You are dealing with an illness on top of trying to quit! That's no easy task. Don't let yourself get into a state worse than it is already. Seek out help from your doctor. Tell him exactly what your thoughts are.

[racingpinarello]

I can only imagine the diffculty of that disease, and I wish you good health.

Your post is an inspiration to make positive changes on your own, see your weaknesses and make them stronger. Most people find it easy to blame the issue on somebody or something else.

I congratulate you on your success and courage. keep up the good work.

Loren

[tijean]

I do appriciate your concern very much. It's not that bad, but I'm just having the standard problems concentrating and some serious grouchiness. With the patch, I feel like I haven't had a cigarette in a couple of hours, instead of the couple of day's it's really been, so that's good. I'm also jittery because I did something I very rarely do -- took a very low dose of the Zanex (anxiety medicine) that was perscriped as an "as need" thing. The day after I take one I'm always jittery anyway. Last night's spotty sleep doesn't help either. I've been briefed on the basics of receptors by my father (microbiologist working in biotech), so I understand a bit of what's going on. The withdrawl, then the receptors die off. I just want the little buggers to go away already.

[Trevor Ash]

You just reminded me about soemthing....the patch gave me the most REALISTIC dreams I've had since I was a kid. I don't really dream very much and if I do remember a dream I remember it more as a few snapshots than movement and action. But with that Patch! %$%^&#!!! I had some VERY interesting dreams.

I hate to admit that I actually liked it.....I don't know if women have those kinds of dreams too

If it's too much for you then you might have to take the patch off before going to bed. Last I recall the packaging even tells you the same thing. But then you'll definetely feel it in the morning so it's a tradeoff.

[shrapnel]

Hi Tijean, all i can say is don't give up!!!it gets easier I swear. I gave up about 9 months ago and so far haven't looked back (even though the first three weeks, I wasn't the nicest of people!). What helped me stop was a book by Allen Carr called 'the easy way to stop smoking' and although his method does not use patches or any nicotine substitutes, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't read his book, as he tries and explains very well a lot of things about smoking we smokers seem to ignore. He does not do it in a pedantic way and dispels a lot of myths about smoking, and a lot of what he says just makes so much sense!!!It helped me quit, so you never know it might help you.

All the best

chris

[megan]

I hope you're still on the road to being tobacco-free.
And attitude is everything!

megan

[tijean]

My attitude stinks! At least that's why my mom says. I'm still truckin'

[another view]

I'm still truckin'

Great! Keep it up!