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  1. #1
    project forum co-moderator Frog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    wa state

    The baby photographer.........slight off color joke

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
    surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father
    was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife good-bye and said, "Well, I'm
    off now. The man should be here soon."

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
    happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning,
    Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

    "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
    expecting you."

    "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
    know babies are my specialty?"

    "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have
    a seat".

    After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
    < BR>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
    couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
    floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

    "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry
    and me!"

    "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if
    we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven
    angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

    "My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

    "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
    In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

    "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
    his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

    "Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

    "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
    their mother was so difficult to work with."

    "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

    "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
    job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get
    a good look"

    "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

    "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.

    The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
    concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
    Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
    had to pack it all in."

    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,"

    "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
    and we can get to work right away."


    "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
    too big t o be held in the hand very long."

    Mrs. Smith fainted
    Keep Shooting!


    Please refrain from editing my photos without asking.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Jimmy B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Seattle,Wa. USA

    Re: The baby photographer.........slight off color joke

    Frog Good one!!!!

  3. #3
    Moderator Didache's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    London England

    Re: The baby photographer.........slight off color joke

    frog ... off colour or not, that's hilarious!

    Mike Dales ARPS
    My website:

  4. #4
    Almost There...... ciddog91's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Detroit, MI, USA

    Re: The baby photographer.........slight off color joke

    That is great....
    Support those who protect us:

  5. #5
    Stop Or I'll Shoot Photography Lori11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Birmingham, Alabama USA

    Re: The baby photographer.........slight off color joke

    :lol: hysterical :lol:

  6. #6
    Spamminator Grandpaw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Mississippi Gulf Coast, USA

    Re: The baby photographer.........slight off color joke

    Nothing that can't be fixed in a few minutes using Photoshop, Jeff
    Check out my website Here
    My Nikon D7000 Tips thread is HERE

    All images posted by me anywhere are Copyrighted by Federal Law and may not be copied or used in ANY FORM without my personal written permission. Jeff Impey
    "I decided years ago I was only going to have two types of days... Very Good Days or just Plain Good Days I just refuse to have Bad Ones!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

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