Summer

[draymorton]

A total outtake which I'm really trying to make work, but can't figure out how. Obviously going for a vintage feel. Wanted to make her - and the scene - appear as though from another era.

Thanks.

[armando_m]

WOW , Love this !!!
Reminds me of a movie "13th floor" about the times the guy travels to the 20's, so, that part more than certainly works
It so nice to see this model again, hope yo keep using her for your shots

Love the B&W , the texture of the dress is outstanding as well as the pearls on her wrist

my critiques:
It kind of bothers me the tire is tack sharp but her eyes are a tad soft
the window frame between the tire and the tractor seems like can be cloned out
and I'm not sure about the half included headlights

Really great image!

[draymorton]

Thanks, armando. I think I can take care of just about everything you mentioned. Don't remember why I cropped into the headlights; there had to be a reason (though maybe not a good one).

I didn't see the eyes as not being sharp, but then... that's why I'm running this by you guys. I can put some high pass on them and see if that makes a diff. Maybe it's because the tire is so sharp that the eyes look soft by comparison? I dunno.

I can clone out the window easily enough if it's really distracting.

It so nice to see this model again, hope yo keep using her for your shots

Hope I'm able to! She's amazing to work with... when she has the time!

[ksbryan0]

I like the feel of the shot, and the composition is great. The tractor is too new to transport me to a different era (the headlamps and battery and their placement are a dead give-away to those who know farm equipment) without roughing things up a little. While the BW is super, I think it would really do a better job of sending me to a past era with a little grain and either sepia or at least a little yellowing. Your capture of the model is terrific, and her eyes appear in sharp focus on my crappy laptop...and really they are so captivating that my eyes keep being drawn to her's. The window and wooden wall behind help convince me that the we are in an old setting, but the window placement is distracting. Because it implies "old" construction, I might be tempted to move it to the edge of the frame above and to the right of the tire. Seems like a lot of critique for a shot I really like! Well done.

[draymorton]

I like the feel of the shot, and the composition is great. The tractor is too new to transport me to a different era (the headlamps and battery and their placement are a dead give-away to those who know farm equipment) without roughing things up a little. While the BW is super, I think it would really do a better job of sending me to a past era with a little grain and either sepia or at least a little yellowing. Your capture of the model is terrific, and her eyes appear in sharp focus on my crappy laptop...and really they are so captivating that my eyes keep being drawn to her's. The window and wooden wall behind help convince me that the we are in an old setting, but the window placement is distracting. Because it implies "old" construction, I might be tempted to move it to the edge of the frame above and to the right of the tire. Seems like a lot of critique for a shot I really like! Well done.

Really appreciate all of it, Ken. Exactly what I was looking for. It made me think about what I was actually going for here much more specifically... and I think what I was really hoping to do was convey the feeling of a bygone era via the conversion, processing, and styling, while including/retaining some modern elements, too, for a slightly more "fashiony" edge, if that makes any sense.

Grain could be cool, as could some discoloration... and/or maybe some texture? - but I'd need to be careful not to overdo any of that; too much could be really corny.

I could probably move the window if that would help the composition... or remove it completely.

Thanks a lot for taking the time to look and offer such detailed feedback!

[NKP68]

I like it a lot. I think you have achieved your goal with just the model and the tractor tire. Great opposition of feel, along with; the oppulant look of her dress and her bare foot. The rest of the tractor and BG building can go, they just distract from the scene. Maybe a crop as close to her dress from the left as possible.
Great idea.
Ed

[gahspidy]

Very nice work, D. The setting is great and her pose and styling is very good. I think she is just as sharp as the tire, its just the tire has greater contrast and pops more. I'm feeling she should have a bit moire pop to her as well. I feel as if she is a bit flat and gray in tonality.
Headlights above could go, but no deal breaker at all.
I truly like everything about this, but the first thing that stood out to me were the eyes. Somehow they seem empty or "missing" even especially her left eye. It has a pretty cool weird factor, but not sure if that intentional or desired. Also the pursed lips do' not seem to go with what the rest of the face is doing...hard to explain any other way.
However........no one else mentioned this at all so take it for what its worth. If I'm the only one seeing it this way, then no worries mate.
This really on the whole is a stand out piece with great styling and setting making the concept most interesting. Fantastic work as always.

[Greg McCary]

I agree with Gary about her eyes. Her right eye looks swollen or something. The crop may also be tight at the bottom and I think the headlights need to go. The rest of it is fine it all looks sharp to me.

[CLKunst]

I'm losing her eyes in the contrast or something. They are so bright and clear they at first are missed by the causual eye and instead appear as little half moons, but I know you wouldn't do that so I looked closer. Perhaps this is an instance where leaving a glimmer of color to seperate them from the background might work well. From the earlier color shot you posted of her this might actually work out very nicely. Once I took the second look it's a riveting portrait but perhaps needs a little more pop!

Edit:
Ha! Just read Gary's comment! :thumbsup:

[draymorton]

Thanks for the feedback. I'm getting all kinds of descriptions as to what's wrong, which is awesome, but would also love to know what I can do to fix it.

Gary - thanks. I think I know what you mean by "pop" for her. I'll try to interpret that as best I can and fix it.

What do you suggest I do to fix the "emptiness" in the eyes? She has very light blue eyes which go nearly white in b/w conversion.

Greg - appreciate the feedback, but are you talking about the cheek or right under the eye? I'm a little confused. And of course I would love suggestions as to how to fix it.

Cindy - thanks for commenting on this one. I don't want to get into selective color. Again, is the problem mainly the brightness? Should I just darken the eyes?

And by pop, do you mean contrast?

One of the things I was worried about was blown-out highlights, which is why I kept things lower on the contrast scale.

Thanks again. Basically I'm trying to save this portrait to have another keeper from the pile I've shot of her (which, at this point, might amount to about three images), as the main shot I had planned to do with her looks like it ain't gonna happen (she bailed on me). So any help in making this a usable piece would be much appreciated.

[draymorton]

I like it a lot. I think you have achieved your goal with just the model and the tractor tire. Great opposition of feel, along with; the oppulant look of her dress and her bare foot. The rest of the tractor and BG building can go, they just distract from the scene. Maybe a crop as close to her dress from the left as possible.
Great idea.
Ed

Thanks, Ed. Yeah, I think I crop may be in order. I just didn't know what to crop out. Appreciate the feedback!

[Master Kraftsmann]

Woah, I feel like she's looking into my soul with those eyes, haha.

[CLKunst]

Yes, a contrast adjustment overall and a slight darkening of her eyes could help alot just to distinguish them a bit more. All of the mid tones appear too close together in range as it sits and my initial impression was that it's a bit muddy looking but that's the way I feel about lots of vintage style pictures perhaps that's the effect you were shooting for. Where specifcally were you worried about blown out highlights? The dress or her skin and eyes?

I also like Ed's idea of cropping from the right of the frame as close as you comfortably can to the edge of her dress but that may be impossible if you're trying to keep the frame format the same. Tough one. . .

[Anbesol]

Great work dray! Can we see a color?

Something about the brightness of her iris. Is she wearing colored contacts? Are they edited?

*edit - I see this has already been discussed. During your BW conversion, if you drop the blue (or cyan) channel down, then her eyes will likely go down with it.

Then, I think she also just has naturally bright eyes, recalling the last portrait you put up of her.

[Greg McCary]

Dray it looks like a shadow. Try cropping in closer, just above her waistline also taking just a touch off of the left. 35mm format. See what you think. When I enlarge it, cropping in the eyes look better.

[gahspidy]

Thanks for the feedback. I'm getting all kinds of descriptions as to what's wrong, which is awesome, but would also love to know what I can do to fix it.

Gary - thanks. I think I know what you mean by "pop" for her. I'll try to interpret that as best I can and fix it.

What do you suggest I do to fix the "emptiness" in the eyes? She has very light blue eyes which go nearly white in b/w conversion.

Greg - appreciate the feedback, but are you talking about the cheek or right under the eye? I'm a little confused. And of course I would love suggestions as to how to fix it

Possibly going in and darkening the iris a bit/or a separate b&w conversion for the eyes and then layer them in Actually, it also appears that her pupils are very small and might be worth experimenting with enlarging them. Yes, by pop I mean getting more contrast with deeper shadow and brighter white.

[tamiam]

[QUOTE=gahspidy;470368]Possibly going in and darkening the iris a bit/or a separate b&w conversion for the eyes and then layer them in Actually, it also appears that her pupils are very small and might be worth experimenting with enlarging them. Yes, by pop I mean getting more contrast with deeper shadow and brighter white.[/QUOTE

Not that I am an expert, but I too feel there should be more 'pop', and creating more contrast between whites and blacks I feel would make this photo stand out and pop more. Not enough range of depth between darks and lights, but this may be what you were going for. I just feel the image needs more of a feel of depth. Wish I knew better how to tell you to that, but sorry, I don't! :aureola:

[draymorton]

Thanks for the help, guys. I'll try everything suggested.

Charlie - Nope, no contacts. I do think I brightened them a little, now that I'm thinking back. Color - sure, but I remember thinking that it worked so much better in b/w.

I've looked at lots of pics from the 20s/30s and a lot of them have that flat, predominantly gray tonal range. That's what I was shooting for, but maybe I overdid it. Conversion isn't my strong suit. Will try to add a little more sparkle and pop, though, probably in LR (which is where I did the original b/w conversion).

Cindy - blow-outs... her face, mainly, left side. Was trying to avoid them there, on her arm, etc.

[CLKunst]

Hmm. . . maybe instead of fighting the lightness of her eyes, and darkening them you should really accentuate them. Bring the shadows in deep don't worry so much about the tractor details or spotlight out some bits but make this shot more about her eyes. My husband's ancient aunt showed me a picture of her mother from the early 1900's. She had eyes like this and they were absolutely transfixing in this old sepia photo, they were her dominant feature and it really worked. The rest of the shot was dark, muddy, I think she was in a den or an office, I didn't even care what was in the background, just those gorgeous pale eyes. I don't know if that helps but for what it's worth, there you go. That's my suggestion. Good luck, you'lll make something work.

[LeeIs]

the face looks kinda strange in this one. i love the photo, the setting and everything looks great. the one thing that really gets me in this other than the strange face is the amount of grey in this. i think it's too much. seems like the midtones over power everything, so in that sense, i don't like the b&w conversion here. i'd like to see more whites and more blacks. or something to control all the greys. i'm sure that can be fixed easily though. but other than that, love the photo and the setting.

[draymorton]

Thanks, all, for the feedback. Trying to address as much as possible (haven't gotten to crop yet).

Cindy - wish I could see that photo!

Right direction? Wrong direction?

[GB1]

Dray,

I haven't read any of the posts. My impression is that this is a pretty powerful shot, has a vintage feeling (apparently intended), is a bit too dark in the bottom shadows, and may be too centered. Her expression I cannot figure out. I love the fact that she's apparently turning something with a tool, creating a 'working girl' feeling, but the angle sort of restricts my view and it's therefore just a guess that she's really doing that (I'm 90% certain, but can't tell for sure). So much good detail in this scene I'd hate for you to crop something out, but that dead centering is bothering me a bit... ahh, don't sweat it though... tomorrow it may look perfect to me.

G

[Asmarlak]

I think the IQ is pleasing. She looks so weird though that it takes away from the image in a very negative way. I know nothing can be done about it now but I hope you have better takes of her in stock.

[arne saknussen]

Nice improvement on the face details.

My question, though, is what is the story you trying to tell? I see the potential "dressed up, but really rural" theme, but it doesn't quite live up to that. It's difficult to tell what she is doing. Is she tightening something, or just holding on?

Maybe a smudge of grease or two would help.

Great concept though.

[draymorton]

I know nothing can be done about it now but I hope you have better takes of her in stock.

I don't, but thanks for hoping.

Appreciate the time. And honesty.