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Puns
EXPERIENCE
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take
a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a
question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the
motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and
asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves
out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.
So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks,
when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the
mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."
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GETTING OLDER
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'."
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An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery
and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember,
if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother
is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
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Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old..."
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me! I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.
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You know you are getting old when everything either... dries up or leaks.
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One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
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"Lord,
keep Your arm around my shoulder
and Your hand over my mouth!"
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