Warning #1: Danger Mouse

Seen in the manual for an SGI computer: "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers."

Smacking them with the keyboard, however, is perfectly permissible.

Warning #2: Booze Blues

Seen on a Terrestrial Digital outdoor antenna: "Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant, or both."

Of course, if you're drunk and pregnant, you probably have bigger problems.

Warning #3: Three-Dimensional Danger

Seen on a Samsung 3D TV disclaimer: "Pregnant women, the elderly, sufferers of serious medical conditions, those who are sleep deprived or under the influence of alcohol should avoid utilizing the unit's 3D functionality."

Man, those drunk moms-to-be just can't catch a break!