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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    1

    a short video !!!

    hey guy
    i wanted to share with u a home made video i recorded... just to test my acrting skils )))
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHXuR5YjpKQ
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHXuR5YjpKQ


    free to comment)

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Brookings Oregon
    Posts
    96

    Re: a short video !!!

    Spelling was a little off, I thought how the video jerked put an old style touch on it. You should have maybe put an old film filter on it with the music and no sound from the subject. Great Job! Rated it a 5 for ya!:thumbsup:

  3. #3
    Moderator Skyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
    Posts
    1,506

    Re: a short video !!!

    Welcome to the forums! and thanks for sharing your short film. You may not know, but we have our own video hosting and the quality is much better than you tube. It can be found under the share tab at the top of the page or simply follow this link:

    http://videos.photographyreview.com/

    As for the film, your story is good, but the execution needs a little work. You are using the text screens to replace bits of the film you don't want to show. You still need to show some of the what appears in the text. Your main character is poor, so show him looking for work in a newspaper or staring into an empty fridge and looking hungry, or eating the last scraps of food. Show him entering the the lottery don't just tell us about it. As for the lottery results the desperation there was way overdone. With the life of crime show him thinking about stealing and being wealthy from the proceeds not just looking tough and why would he cut his own neck? that just makes him look suicidal. I am guessing you were on a limited budget, but Hollywood cliches are still helpful. A baseball bat would work a lot better than a hammer as a prop. Don't tell us about the decision not to lead a life of crime, show him thinking about being in handcuffs. Again with the cleaners job show him finding a job in the paper or a sign saying cleaning in progress. make the toilet look dirtier, use something like soy sauce or bbq sauce and peanut butter for that effect (assuming you don't actually want to find a filthy toilet to clean) Show him dropping the coins into a jar and it slowly building up. spend less time trying to capture the emotions, your audience should get it a lot faster and it only detracts from the flow of the film.

    Technically, your framing is fairly average, but I am guessing you worked with what you had in terms of locations. pay attention to what is in shot and remove the items that don't help your story as much as you are able. use your cameras white balance, consistency of colour will really help. Try to shoot your scenes a couple of times from various viewpoints so that you have options when editing. you can also cut between takes from different viewpoints to maintain interest in longer shots or to get close in an emotional scene etc. Don't be afraid to have your subject walk into or out of the shot.

    I hope that isn't too harsh. As I said I enjoyed your story but it would be greatly improved with a little bit of effort.

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